TJ swimming

A few days ago TJ, myself, my mom, and 3 younger siblings went swimming. Here are the photos...TJ had a blast. Which was nice cause he was afraid of water for a long while. I am glad he out grew it.

Also my mom made me this...



Thanks mom I love it :D

What next

I hate to ask...but What next...First crap jobs, then no place to really live, now no car...This is BS...I am sick of life. I don't know how much more I can take. I am getting really stressed out and sick and depressed and I know TJ can feel it...cause he has been more fussy and wanting just me when all this BS started to happen. I don't know what to do any more.

My friends in Vegas have offered yet again to move us (TJ, Tor and I) to Vegas...but I wanted out of there and I really don't want to be that close by James's (TJ Bio dad) family again.

I am trying to be strong and hold things together and keep my spirits up but it seems the more I do the worse things get.

I am sinking and I cant find the surface. What to do...???

Religion

Please bare with me. I am doing a lot of pondering today and want to get my ideas and feelings out. Please ANYONE feel free to answer my questions and help me understand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tough subject for just about everyone to talk about. There are people that are strong in one church and believe all other faiths are wrong. Then there are those who believe bits and pieces of lots of different religions. I happen to be one of those people.

I was baptized Catholic at a young age...yet I only remember going to church maybe a handful of times. My mother is the one that decided to have me baptized at a young age. Then in my young child years I would go to LDS (Mormon) church with my dad and grandparents. I remember bits there. Then as I grew I moved in with my dad, mom (step mom to be factual) and family. I began to go to LDS church with them almost every Sunday. I grew an understanding of the church and the feeling I had times at church or at church history sites is unexplainable...

I was baptized LDS on July 31, 2004 my 18th birthday. But I am afraid I did not understand what I was doing to the fullest. I did it for a few reasons. 1. To upset my mother (we grew apart fast) 2. to make my dad proud of me. There are not a lot of things I have done in life that I know my father is proud of me for. I wanted to make him happy and proud...Which is where I went wrong. and the third reason is 3. to fit in

Yes I believe in the Church of Latter Day Saints but only parts...Well actually no not believe...understand. I only understand parts to the LDS church.

I want to raise my son and be a part of a faith but I am unsure as to which one.

I know there is a Higher Being (God) and I know that he has a son (Christ) And I believe there are angles.

But I don't understand a few things.
With the LDS church I don't understand tithing, fasting, why only men have the power of blessings, and the history...(which isn't hard to believe...I don't understand ANY history)

The other thing I don't understand is all the rules to follow. Like, no drinking (didnt the sacrament use to be severed with wine?) I can understand the no smoking, using the name in vain and things like that though

But to the other religion I was "brought up in" Catholic....I don't understand why the worship Mary...She did give birth but if it wasn't for the Higher Being it wouldn't have happened. She was just doing as he asked of her. The other thing I don't understand is baptized at such a young age...If I was 18 when I chose to be baptized and I don't understand a lot how is a baby going to know... Also why the memorized prayers...

I know there are a lot more religions those are just the two I know a bit about.

I have read the Bible and The Book Of Mormon...Yet I still have question, unsure of things and total don't understand. I mean I am not the greatest read...actually I am the worst reader...and speller at that matter LOL so maybe it is my fault I don't understand and it is my fault I am so confused.

I want to talk to my parents but I am pretty sure I know what they will say...They think I am not interested and that I was lied to them the whole time...Guess what I wasn't I was confused and I did not fully understand what I was learning, reading and believing.

There are things I know I will have to change in my life if I do chose to go fully LDS...and I don't know how that will go. I will cross that when I get to understanding more and clear minded. My mind feels like it is being pulled into MANY directions...Maybe cause I am trying to solve all of this at once. Maybe if I take it piece by piece and learn little by little then my emotions and mind will slow down...

I just don't know...to be continued....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for baring with me...again I am sorry for all the dumping. I just needed to clear my mind a bit. And maybe my parents will see this and come talk to me instead of me going to them...hint hint hint LOL j/k you don't have to if you don't want to get in to it mom and dad. Well I guess all I can do know is read...and hope that something will come to me and I will get my questions answered...

Scrapbook of TJ

My grandma in AZ has told me that she wants pics of TJ. I am really getting into digi things (scraping, making sigs, ect) so I thought I would make her a scrapbook of TJ from the time he was born to now...Here is what I have so far...

What do you think...I am still working on it...But these are the ones I have done at the moment :D

Fave pics in the past two years

I got into to this new site that does slide shows and things So here is what I came up with...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

All my fave pics of TJ between birth on 08/05/06 to now (08/2008) My little man has grown so much :( kind of makes me sad. Yet happy, that he is growing and he is happy...MOST of the time that is LOL

I am also on a web site called welovesigcity.com and I was just made a D.I.T. (Designer In Training) It is a site where others request for sigs or graphics to be made for them and the D.I.T's and/or designers make them. It is so much fun. So yeah, thought I would share that LOL

We have hit the T2 (terrible 2's) FAST and HARD LMAO
TJ has and still is driving me CRAZY at times...joys of mommy hood LOL :D

TJ also went on his first Dentist appointment today. He behaved better then I thought he would LOL He has a couple of cavities :S so we have to schedule to get those taken care of. Also we HAVE to get him off the "B" word (bottle) LOL which I already know is NOT going to be fun or easy. I have to be hard on him I guess...

Other news...Tor, TJ and I are in a Step-Family Support group. It is a 6 week long class where we go once a week to The Christmas Box here in Ogden and meet other families that are mixed families and talk about family things. Like; discipline ideas, parenting styles, etc. we mostly bounce ideas off one another and talk about some problems we are having. Tor and I have only been the past 2 weeks. We LOVE it. I wish it was longer then 6 weeks. I hope we keep the connection we have formed with some of the other families. It is helping Tor and I so much. We are starting to be on the same page.

Well that is it for my life right now. I hope you enjoy the photos and check back again to read and see more.

My Pretty Princess

We are at my parents house and I have a little sister who isnt much older then TJ and she is all girl LOL well I guess TJ has been around her a little too much LOL cause TJ starting playing dress up LMAO...I had to take pics and make myself a sig LOL Here are the photos and the sig I made.

TJs 2nd Birthday

Sorry it has been awhile since I have posted on here...Life became crazy for a bit. LOL I just turned 22 on July 31st and TJ just turned 2 on August 5th. We are having a party with my family tomorrow but here are his Birthday portraits from KK